Tyra Banks Sex Survey
This story appeared on the Today Show last Friday. Now, let’s get past the shocking reality that in America today Tyra Banks can publish research on teenage sexuality. Banks brings up some topics worth wrestling with for youth workers. Here in the YS offices we were disturbed by the findings presented. Of course, we really wanted to examine the data for ourselves.
- Are parents really that blind to their kid’s sexuality? Or is it that they don’t want to know?
- Do the survey’s findings represent your community?
- Do you see the glorification of teen mom’s effecting students attitudes about getting pregnant?
- What are the ramifications of this type of behavior for our student ministries?
I could go on. But watch the video and share your thoughts in the comments!
November 17th, 2008 - Posted By: Adam McLane in Culture, video | |
on November 17th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Wow…sad. I think she’s spot in many ways. We’ve had some recent revelations with this in our church and it’s opened my eyes as to just how much these teens are dealing with.
I think it’s important to know, that these statistics could really be applied to teen boys as well. Obviously it takes two to tango and unless all these teen girls are having sex with college students/adults (which some probably are), teen boys are in the same boat.
I think her comment on parents is pretty harsh, but pretty true. So many parents are embarrassed. They are afraid. Some are ignorant, but I think most don’t want to really know what’s going on.
But that’s just my opinion…and I’m not the parent of a teenager
on November 17th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Dang.
Makes me really think about the fact that I should probably be having these types of conversations with my youth.
When I look back on 2 years of youth ministry I did in Idaho - the one thing I know is that I never did ONE talk/discussion on sex. And that is not good. The students had received one before I got there, and it just was NOT helpful at all.
So — makes me want to think about it more and think about what it could look like to have a productive conversation about sex. Not one I think I’d really be looking forward to, but one that needs to happen.
I’m pretty shocked by the results of the survey - esp. all of the teen girls having unprotected sex…wow.
on November 17th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
The findings of her research is not overly surprising to me. I first heard of my pears in school talking about having sex in 6th grade. (I am 27 now) I agree that it is parents lack of communication and setting rules/boundries for their children. I also believe media plays a huge role as well. I was raised by my father and he did a decent job of informing me of what I needed to know. I will say though that the information that stands out to me most was lessons I sat through in my jr high youth meetings at Church.
on November 17th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
okay, i’m still having trouble believing that tyra banks is doing surveys.
the stats are sobering. i can’t wait to see the data and research, but it does behoove (can i say behoove on a youth min site) us to figure out helpful ways to talk about this topic with young people AND their parents.
zoiks.
on November 17th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I must confess that I’m impressed with Tyra Banks and her spot on observations of teenagers. I think she nailed it when she was talking about the issues surrounding teen moms–there are definitely other issues going on there and I think that was very insightful.
I think parents naturally assume the best out of their kids, so they more than likely don’t feel a deep talk about sex to be necessary because “My kid would never do that!” We run a teen and parent abstinence program every 2 years and it has been very successful. (And successful as in we’ve had the parents and teens attend together and take the message home and talk about it…whether or not they follow thru will be seen in the future). As youth workers, we cannot take the place of the parent, but we can certainly provide opportunities for parents to talk to their teenagers about sex.
on November 17th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Should we be surprised when Tyra promotes sex?
on November 17th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I believe the bigger/est issue is, and begins at home. As we have seen the functional home becoming the war grounds of hate and the divorce rate and lack of fatherhood grow, this creates issues in many lives, it’s a big problem, however not the only problem. The lack of information and open communication & dialogue is the head on the nail. Matt asks her at 2:25, Where are they getting their information, from their parents?” And Tyra’s response was so strong that they ARE NOT getting it from their parents but from their peers.
Teenagers are caught up in a sexualistic society that encourages taboo behavior and to explore and we see media exploit this. The sad truth is parents see the same commercials and a lot of the same TV shows, etc, yet deny to confront.
As youth leaders we must begin to unite the parent and child communication so that parents have straight talks regardless how uncomfortable it is. What is more uncomfortable, the ‘talk’, open discussion, or dealing with a 15 year old pregnant daughter or child with a STD?
on November 17th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
As a sexuality educator, I say YES — you must convince parents that they have incredible influence over their child’s sexual attitudes and behaviors. Children who have “open and honest communication” with their parents and who feel accepted and understood by their parents 1) wait longer to have sex; 2) have fewer partners; 3) have safer sex.
And for anyone who is reluctant to talk to teens or parents, contact me. I am passionate about healthy sexuality. I would be happy to speak with you or your congregation about sex. I do it all day as an educator and coach, and I work closely with a sex therapist in a busy private practice.
I can tell you that every day we see adults come in for therapy who would be in a better situation if their parents or another caring adult had been brave enough to set aside their discomfort and talk about sex when they were younger.
on November 18th, 2008 at 8:34 am
LOL. Glad you changed the title but did make me laugh.
on November 18th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Gman- the front page of the YS site just takes the first 3 words of whatever blog post is on top. It was pretty funny!
on November 18th, 2008 at 9:06 am
My one criticism of this report, is that I can’t find the actual study. They called it a survey, so it makes me wonder about the statistics. Don’t get me wrong, the things that some of these kids are doing and the fact that they are too embarrassed to talk to their parents and vice versa, are a real cause for concern, but with the documented decline of teen pregnancy, I’m wondering if the statistics are accurate.
on November 18th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Jeff- agreed. We’d love to see the research as well. Such as, how were the 10,000 survey respondents selected? If it was self-selection… like they got an email and took the survey, than the results are skewed. Also, I wondered if this were 10,000 Tyra Banks Show viewers as opposed to a random sample. If that’s the case, the survey results would be only of show viewers.
I do think she’s discovered some stuff, but like you we are looking for the beef of the survey.
on November 18th, 2008 at 11:55 am
It shows that people into Tyra Banks are less moral. The survey was done on her website. Plus kids doing surveys online are probably less moral. I know it is a problem, but depending on the website it would higher or lower.
on November 18th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Why are we surprised by these statistics when our culture glorifies sex and makes it so appealing to teenagers? Tyra blamed parents and I believe that parents bear a large responsibility and must engage in dialogue with their kids about sex. But TV and Media must also bear responsibility for the way they promote sex to teenagers.
on November 18th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
No surprise here. Come on people Pam Stenzel been saying this since what 97?
Check it out:
http://shoppamstenzel.com/p-15-sex-edno-screwin-around-faith-based-dvd.aspx
Forbidden Fruit: Sex & Religion in the Lives of American http://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Fruit-Religion-American-Teenagers/dp/0195320948/ref=pd_sim_b_28
on November 18th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
The Tyra Banks sex Survey is a great start for discussion between students, parents, school administrators, teachers, pastors and youth workers. Many youthworkers and pastors to students are aware of the statistics. Just last night at our High School Club (youth group but on a community level)our guest speaker from a local high school talked about one of the issues in that school was sex in the bath rooms on campus. Our topic was Moral Boundaries. Sex in the bath room was just one of many issues brought up in passing of issues being distructive on a campus of 1,400 students in a relatively small are of Florida. In this same community and the rest of the county on every secondary public school and some private school campuses myself and a host of others joined forces to bring nationally known speakers over a period of 10 years and later expanded to 2 counties to find that we were still just scratching the service. Stats were taken by the counties, which is a common event and available to the public, and within a year after Pam Stenzel came there was a drop in teen pregnancies. Along with Pm there was Reggie Dabbs and several others not as well known but very good communicators. What we found was tere needs to be knew education about every 2 years publically or the issue is soon swept under the rug, so to speak, and many students and parents never hear until Tyra B. or some one famous does something in a big way. Tyra just gives us validaty in what we’ve been doing all along in smaller groups and occasionally in a big way.
I know everything doesn’t have to be done in a big way. The voice of one determined student is more powerful than all the great professional communicators combined. My prayer is that each of our communities will find at least one voice arising. Doug E.
on November 18th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Credible studies that are valid and reliably reported might disagree with Miss Banks findings.
Her “study” sounds like a survey sent to girls who might take the time to respond.
For instance, “Was the sample random?” Doesn’t sound like it even though the 10,000 respondents sounds impressive it may actually be less valid than a randomly sampled survey of less than 1500 teens.
Did they know they were answering a survey for Tyra? That would heavily impact the credibility of the study.
That said, she is spot on that parents need to be more involved.
Several recent studies have questioned the promiscuity of teens. Clearly many teens are having sex. The question is … is this a “new” phenomenon or has this always been the case? Here is an abstract from a recent article that is congruent with what many other researchers are suggesting:
Contemporary Sexuality
September 2008
The myth of teen promiscuity
BYLINE: Melby, Todd
ABSTRACT
If you’ve been tuned into the media buzz about “rainbow parties,” “technical virgins,” and the so-called “oral sex epidemic,” this might come as a surprise.
In 2002, Oprah Winfrey dedicated a show to the issue, claiming there was a national “oral sex epidemic.” On the same episode of the popular daytime television program, Dr. Phil castigated a teenage girl, saying, “When you’re saying ‘It’s just friends,’ let me tell you … a friend doesn’t ask you to go in the bathroom, get on your knees in a urine-splattered tile floor and stick their penis in your mouth. That’s not what I call a friend.”
Yet the idea of “rainbow parties” scared many American parents. “It probably had nothing to do with reality,” [John Santelli] said. “It was a moral panic. There’s this myth that teens are engaged in promiscuous non relational sex. Some teens do have multiple partners, but it’s not true of most teens. They are interested in real relationships and they want to be responsible.”
on November 18th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I had the same thought, Mark, the results certainly raise concerns, but do they raise awareness of a reality among teenage girls? I think not.
on November 18th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
So how was this survey even conducted?
Simple Randon Sample? Convience? Justified? Cluster? Systematic? If the giver of this survey does not know what these terms mean, then I do not think that it can be considered valid. Even if it is valid, there seem to be ample opportunites for bias due to the size and qualifications of the sample population.
on November 19th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I’m a parent and also an involved youth worker. I taught J-high in 1982 and did a class on sexuality. At first the parents seemed that this was not the place, but after I shared with them how and what we were going to do, they got behind us. Most kids at this age hear all kinds of things and really don’t know what the slang or the real thing is. We did a complete sex education talk (boys and girls separated and taught by an appropriate adult). As we did this we would label the correct term and the slang term; you could hear the gasps when they realized what they had been saying! I was college age at the time and this was a safe haven for these kids (many are afraid to talk with their parents). Years later my mom mentioned that one of the girls from the group got married. She wanted to make sure I knew that she was a virgin the night of her wedding due to those talks. (By the way, many of their friends were getting pregnant and having to leave school. This was in the 80’s; it is not a new problem.)
Today I have two daughters that are 13 and 11. Some of the tv programing has opened doors for us to communicate. They will talk about the actors in a way they will not talk about themselves. My girls know the term sex. They hear it all the time, school, tv, friends, etc. But I realize just like my youth group girls back in 1982, they still really don’t know what it all means.
I think our kids are afraid to look dumb to their peers and parents. Parents think their kids already know everything. Or some are just afraid to admit they don’t know. The more youth ministries can encourage dialogue and strengthen the family, the end result is worth it.
Thank you to those who are so dedicated to their kids and for the segments like on the Today Show that continue to keep these things in the forefront. God is moving!
on November 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I have a hard time accepting any survey Tyra Banks does as fact, but that aside, 1 in 5 girls WANTING teen pregnancy seems a little high. Thoughts?
on November 21st, 2008 at 10:42 am
We need to talk to our children about ABSTINENCE,ABSTINENCE,ABSTINENCE…….
Parents,teachers and leaders get your heads out of the ground and open up your eyes!!!!
on November 21st, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Kari - did you know that over 90% of people DO NOT practice abstinence until married? My eyes are open and I prefer to deal with reality.
Also, what do you mean by “abstinence” — that means different things to different people. Is phone sex ok then? What about dry humping? This is the age-old, “How far can I go without going too far” issue. It’s not the point.
I don’t teach my kids “don’t cross the road in front of a bus” - I teach them about overall safety, about how to cautiously cross a road, about the consequences of what could happen if they disobey me. If we get too concerned about “no sex” we can miss a lot of opportunities to share our values with our kids and help frame the conversation in a more positive way.
I work for a sex therapist and today I spoke with a new client who was a virgin when she got married - so yes, it is possible to remain “abstinent” of intercourse. However, their sex life is off to a terrible beginning and they are both very frustrated.
So if people are going to preach abstinence, I truly hope that you will at least think about the overall messages that you are perpetuating about sex. Yes, the media distorts what healthy sex looks like, but so do parents, pastors and others.
And if we’re going to say “no sex” we need to back it up with a “why not.” Fear tactics aren’t very helpful in the long run. What we need to teach kids (and ourselves) is how to be WISE and LOVING. They need information, encouragement and guidance — which will help them develop character and strength to make wise decisions about their sex life and all other areas of their life.
on January 7th, 2009 at 9:31 am
I’m confused by the previous commenter, Becky Knight…is she somehow saying that the reason the couple she mentions is having sexual frustrations and ‘off to a terrible start’ sexually is because they waited? wow.
on January 7th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Alan, sorry for any confusion.
I don’t mean to imply that anyone who waits for sex until they are married is doomed to a bad sex life. However, I do get very frustrated when I see or hear Christians implying that if someone waits for sex, that they are somehow guaranteed a blissful sex life in marriage. It simply isn’t so. That false promise in itself can create a lot of hurt and frustration for couples who do wait and then are terribly disappointed that their sex life is not all that they were promised it would be.
Conversely, there are people who do have premarital sex, and who go on to enjoy a meaningful and satisfying sex life in marriage. Again, the fear tactics often used by Christians simply aren’t true.
We all have a sexual template that is developed throughout our life. Every good and bad idea or experience we have about sexuality affects our template. Our actions (ie. sexual encounters) are obviously included in that, but so are the beliefs we have about sex, the meaning that we associate with it, the emotions that we feel regarding sexuality, the way we view our bodies and their functions, the ideas we have about gender and gender roles and expectations, and on and on…
I hope that we can all develop a more holistic view of sexuality so that in talking to kids about sex, we don’t focus as much on what acts are ok or not, but on the values that we want them to adopt.
on February 1st, 2009 at 11:43 am
Hello. And Bye.