(Not) planning for summer
Posted By: Sara Eden Williams on March 08 2010
Last summer I tried something totally different than what I’ve done in the past. I planned very few events. I think we did a total of 3 planned events all summer. Instead of big events with sign ups, deposits, transportation, etc. I just hung out with students. Their schedules become so random in the summer. No school, sports, homework. Several of them had jobs but their schedules were nothing like they are during the school year. I made it clear to them that I was always up for hanging out. If there was a movie they wanted to see, I’d go. If there was a day that they were all bored and wanted to come play ping-pong at the church, that was fine with me. I think my favorite was when the high school girls called to tell me there was a flip-flop sale at Old Navy … could we go?
Looking back on the summer, I spent more time with students than ever before. We did spontaneous bible studies, we talked about how our walk with the Lord was going, we talked about life and we built stronger relationships. It was a bummer when they returned to school and I had to go back to only seeing them once or twice a week.
I realize that this type of ministry isn't for everyone. For me and my group, it worked really well. If it sounds like something that might work in your ministry, there are a couple of different ways to get it rolling.
The first step is explaining it to the church leadership. If people don’t understand what you’re doing it can end up looking like you’re slacking. Be prepared to explain the purpose of what you're doing. Your summer focus is building relationships. That sounds much better than what it might look like to people if you aren't proactive about filling them in.
Talk to your pastor about cutting back your office hours or find opportunities for students to hang out at the church with you. Start a breakfast club where students can come to the church for bagels and coffee once a week or pick a day to be at a local fast food restaurant and let students know. I did Mondays last summer for the simple reason that I could call it McMonday. Anyone who wanted to come was welcome. They knew I was there every Monday at 11:00.
If it doesn't work for you to be away from your office that much, publicize your office hours and let students know they’re always welcome to stop in for a visit. Have a stock of soda/junk food so that it doesn't seem like they’re making an appointment and coming in for an official discussion. Always remind students that they're welcome to bring friends! You may get the chance to connect with students who wouldn't come to a regular program.
Last week was February break and I was able to spend some quality ‘hang out’ time with students. We were standing at Panera getting bagels when one of the girls said “I love this! It’s like summer!” A discussion started among the group and it was decided that this summer we will institute ‘pancake day’ where we will meet at one of the girls houses once a week for pancakes.
I’m counting down the weeks until summer vacation!!
Comments
From Jason Huffman on March 08, 2010
Loved the post and the thoughts. Our church has a pretty rigid sexual ethics policy that really puts a damper on impromptu one-on-one ministry time (and it keeps me out of court). Also a lot of this stuff sounds like it works better for students with their own transportation. So my question is this…does making it more formal negate the spontaneity? How have you made this work with jr. high kids whose parents want to know when to pick them up?
From Adam McLane on March 08, 2010
I can’t speak for Sara, so I’m sure she has her own spin.
I’ve had kids come to the office at church one-on-one for a long time. As long as we’re in a part of the building that has other staff people, I’ve just never had anyone question that. Same thing if we drove the .75 mile down to the Dairy Queen or whatever and grabbed a Coke.
But 90% of the time it’s not just one kid. It’s usually a couple, maybe four.
Some of my best ministry times/conversations have come in this “soft time” when 2-3 kids just drop by and we hang for a few hours. I always look at that as a divine appointment. There’s always a reason they come by… it’s just usually not the presenting reason.
Along the same lines, my wife and I have always had an open door policy at home. If we’re at the house they are welcome to drop by. If both me and my wife are home, totally no big deal. If it’s just me… I try to make sure it isn’t just me and another student is just awkward.
I’m not a fan of the super strict policies on this topic. I understand the spirit of it, especially in light of the failures of a few, but some of the legalese out there just formalizes the whole thing.
Oh—for rides. I just arrange it with the parents however it works. Sometimes I drive (I do have a plan for that—long story) and sometimes the parents pick em up. We just kick that freestyle!
From Sara on March 08, 2010
Hi Jason! I’m really careful about the one on one thing as well. The stuff I did last summer was always with at least 2 students. If one student called to see if I could do something, I’d suggest a few other people they could call to invite. They got used to it and started getting a group together before they called me.
As for transportation, it was a mix. The older students would usually drive or catch a ride with a friend. Most of the junior high students I work with live right in the community so it’s common for them to walk.
If you did something weekly it would be easy enough to give parents a drop off and pick up time. I think it can still be casual even if it’s somewhat scheduled. You could even do a general permission form that covered the entire summer if you wanted.
Does that help?
From Paul Turner on March 09, 2010
Sara, good stuff! I was wondering if you think it would be harder after a summer like that to crank up a “normal” summer. Did you get a lot of push back from parents who favor a more traditional summer? Did kids get frustrated and bail to another youth group, if even for the summer?
Last year we did Lunch and Learn every Tuesday. We’d go eat lunch and then back to the church for a Bible Study. This year we’re doing Lunch and Serve. We’ll have lunch and then serve at a local shelter or ministry.
I think it’s a great idea but some of us are not quite as brave as Sarah, .....yet.
Detox takes time : )
From Adam McLane on March 09, 2010
Cold turkey is the only way, Paul. I kid.
You could always use, say Jessus’ teaching on discipleship, as a biblical justification? 
I’m surprised no one has brought up the “playing favorites” card yet!
From Paul Turner on March 09, 2010
I think Jesus set the precedent, that we shall call The Rule of Three! No More No Less.
Whereby Jesus took those suck ups Peter, James, and John everywhere, we must also only take three unto our bosom. Only kids named Peter, James, and John shall be allowed to hang out with us. Sorry ladies.
How was that Adam?
From Sara on March 09, 2010
Hi Paul! I love the lunch and serve idea!
Believe it or not, I didn’t have a single complaint from a parent about what I was doing. It was the first and only time I could say that about anything I tried!
I didn’t lose any students and actually ended up with a few new ones.
One of the things I didn’t mention in my post and probably should have is that there have always been a few students who sort of fall off the grid in the summer. Either they can’t afford the trips/events (and are too proud to say so) or they have a work schedule that conflicts with what’s going on. Neither of those things were a problem last summer. It was a relief for me to not have to see students being left out.
I don’t know how challenging it would be to go back to a traditional summer schedule. I guess it probably depends on the group and how much they like or dislike the ‘new way’
From Doug Ranck on March 09, 2010
Thanks for the post, Sara. We have been backing off in the summer for several years and it has been a win/win situation. Winning for interaction with youth and winning for leaders who love the change of pace and are excited for the fall.
I will be using your thoughts with my volunteers tomorrow night to remind them of this priority not only in the summer but all through the year.
From Moira on March 09, 2010
Last summer I instituted a program which I call, “Friday Night Highlights” (FNH) where we got together once a month for dinner, a movie, and some general hang out time. I thought it would just be a summer thing but my youth just about had a fit when fall came and I hadn’t planned to have FNH! We have now gone almost a full school year and they are rescheduling other things so that they can attend FNH.
I am about to give birth and that means maternity leave for me, so I asked them what they wanted to do about youth group meetings and FNH while I am gone. They decided to have someone else from the church do youth group meetings with them, but FNH is our “special time” and they don’t want anyone else to do it even once!!!!!!! I never thought that planning general hang out time would be so important to my youth, but they love it and it really has deepened our relationships. (plus, I always have a small group of youth and their parents know when to come get them so I can avoid the one-on-one and driving concerns)
From Luke McFadden on March 09, 2010
Loving this idea. I’ve been bogged down with planning already for the summer. I read about “nothing nights” on some youth ministry blog a while back, and love that idea as well. The busyness of ministry quickly wears me out, but just hanging out and spending time with the youth is what gives me energy.
We to have a pretty strict policy, but when I set it up I looked to the community for a standard for a mentoring relationship. It was half and half, so we have “interaction logs” to monitor interaction.
I’m excited to give this a shot this summer. I just canceled two trips!
From Jason Huffman on March 10, 2010
Sara, that does help. Thanks for your feedback. Most of my kids live outside of town and we have a downtown church, so everyone has to be pretty intentional about coming to the church, so that dampens the spontaneous, informal feel of our meetings! Thanks so much for the insights and advice.
Moira, congrats on the baby!
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