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Bean Counting 101: Playing the Numbers Game

The fact that someone had to go to the trouble to invent zero, and thereby invent nothing in the process, is proof of this. We use numbers to measure the passage of time, the size of objects, and the net worth of an individuals finances. Then we make the mistake of determining the value of time, objects, or an individual solely by these numbers.

The Christian church loves numbers. For starters, we have them all over our sacred text. They werent there originally, but at some point, an obsessive compulsive Essene, grown mildly hysterical by repeatedly saying, No, the third scroll on the leftabout a third of the way down the parchment took the entire Bible and gave it chapter and verse. At times, this has been a good thing. Where would sword drills be without the numeration of chapter and verse? The Scripture memory program would be nothing more than the memorization of quotations out of context, verses learned without having any means of gaining the location thereof. These numbers are the addresses of the words of God.

The downside, of course, is that we dont care to visit all the addresses. Oh, once at Bible college, seminary, or as part of a Bible study we visited all the addresses. But some of them are filled with cantankerous old prophets, clever but oh-so-sensual Tamars, or mysteries behind smoked windows we cant quite see through. We like to go to the bright, bold addresses where the numbers are painted onto the white picket fence loudly enough for us to proclaim, There! I like going there!

Sometimes we dont quite finish our thoughts because of the numbers. Were pretty good at getting through Romans 1 and denouncing the pagan hordes with their unnatural ways, but we have trouble seeing that chapter 2 is really a continuation of the thought that chapter 1 began. The words you who judge are doing the very same things go in one eye and out the other because, after all, its numbers were concerned with.

Pyramid Schemes

We also like numbers to tell us where we are. My first year of Bible college included a class Im sure was about evangelism but felt more like training for pyramid schemes. The teacher showed us a triangular graph that illustrated the journey of a Christian life. It was numbered, a 10 down at the bottom, with a header that (near as I can recall) said Highway to Hell. It had a 1 at the top, where the description was something to the effect of Transfigured. It made some obscure reference to Enoch and Metatron, which at the time sounded to me like the only Transformer I hadnt collected as a child.

One of our assignments in this class was to find ourselves a white lab ratum, I mean Unsuspecting Unbeliever and begin the process of helping this Lost Soul ascend this 10-step pyramid, or, at the very least, move them off the Highway to Hell onto the Transgressors Turnpike. We were to keep a journal of our contact with this person. I was lucky enough to already be sharing the gospel with a friend from high school and used our times together for my journaling. Others in my class were not so fortunate, as they hailed from places like Hay Lakes, Alberta, and Millar, Saskatchewan, where the populations werent much bigger than the student body of our school. Theyd have to go outside the confines of our campus and perhaps infiltrate the local pool halls to find their test subjects.

The final project for this class was to be an event (a hockey game) to which we could invite all of our prospective proselytes. Following the event, wed convene in the meeting room of a local hotel and have our best and brightest present their gripping testimonies. This would be followed by an invitation for our numbers 6-10 to make their way to being a 5, the number where you accept Jesus and then move onto becoming something more spiritually spectacular, like a 4, 3, or—should you be worthy of becoming entirely sanctified this side of eternity—a 1.

Concerned we were missing the forest for the trees regarding the eternal destination of our test subjects, I held a meeting with a few fellow students and discovered that the entire approach was leaving all of us a bit cold. Id tried to imagine inviting my friend, whose appreciation for hockey extended no further than the players shed dated, to attend a hockey game with my evangelism class. I knew the idea was, at best, weak, and, at its worst, a nightmare. Wed enrolled in a class on evangelism and were discovering that wed instead mistakenly been placed in some sort of glorified Bean Counting 101. While the number we were most concerned with was by no means the number of our grade, it had become all too clear that the value of that number depended on our involvement in this evangelistic mass mugging.

To the professors extreme chagrin, we made the proposal to scrap the secret meeting at the hotel, along with the hockey game event that wouldve preceded it. Not surprisingly, the final number I received for that courses grading was much lower than all the other numbers on my transcript that year, but I still feel pretty good about the fact that I stopped viewing my friend as a 9 and more as a person who I liked hanging out with and who didnt know Jesus except through me.

Counting the Christians

We dont only attach numbers to the non-Christians; we grade our brothers and sisters as well. There usually arent pyramid charts for this scoring though. We do it in other, less numerical divisions, but divisions that would still fit well on a pyramidor maybe a ziggurat. We talk about those who are still young in the faith or about parachurch ministries. There are no explicit numbers in either of these terms, but one refers to the measurement of age, and the other, a prefix that means near and too often gets used as not quite. Im still involved in a church that was once considered not quite a church. At the time, we were told we were a church plant, which Id always thought were those silk plants the womens groups donated for dcor around the pulpit.

Wed been under the apparently mistaken impression that we were a church; when we got affiliated with a larger organization, they informed us we were simply a church plant. At the time, Id thought I was working as a pastor, but I was made to understand that I was actually a church planter. Both of these statements were condescending, whether they were intended to be or not. Initially, this didnt really bother us, until an issue came up wherein we were told that as a young church plant, we really didnt know what was good for us. Until we reached a certain age as a church, measured in number of years, we would remain a church plant and therefore under the authority of an outside governing body.

As a group, wed been taught that wherever two or three are gathered theres the church. Id even heard this preached in the pulpits of real (i.e. not not-quite) churches. On this basis, we mentioned to the larger organization that we didnt really agree with the distinction of church and church plant by the criterion theyd provided. In reply, the larger organization told us that certain numbers wed been receiving in the form of monthly checks would stop. Since we were all of the opinion that the Church (and by Church I am referring to that elder demon Screwtapes description of her, spread out through all time and space and rooted in eternity, terrible as an army with banners.) shouldnt be nearly as concerned with those numbers as it often is, we told the larger organization that we could do just fine without the numbers theyd been donating, thank you very much, and parted ways.

During our time with the larger organization, I got to utilize skills Id learned in Bean Counting 101 so many years earlier. Each month I was made to hand in a report of how many baptisms thered been and how many new conversions. Ive since heard many stories from fellow church planters that if you dont get enough of these baptism and conversion numbers over a number of years, the larger organization will likely stop sending you those numbers that come in the form of monthly checks, whether you were getting along with them or not. Our little church just celebrated year number five of meeting together, despite the fact that we still dont have really great baptism or conversion numbers.

It hasnt been easy; we are always asking ourselves the question, Whats the point? when we hold a service with only 10 people attending. You see, churches also like the numbers that fill the seats. We take attendance and either post it on a wooden board beside the choir loft or make sure its part of the bulletin. When our numbers rise, were secure that the Lord is blessing our ministry. When numbers drop or stay the same for a long time, theres, at best, cause for concern, and at worst, panic.

When placed together in a room, most pastors, senior or youth, will get around to asking each other questions about size of congregation, number of square feet, number of dollars given annually, percentage of members who tithe, number of ministries, number of missionaries supported, etc. Those of us with small numbers start making excuses like size doesnt matter, which are met with nods from those with big numbers who are reflecting that maybe size doesnt matter—but its far more impressive. In moments like these the numbers game is seen for what it really is—an extension of sophomoric locker room comparisons. Were like a bunch of adolescents, worried were not going to measure up somehow. And in truth, we dont. Despite all our efforts to win at the numbers game, church attendance in North America continues to decline, and the gaps are not being filled. In the end, our numbers dont add up to much.

Gods Numbers

God has an interest in numbers as well, going beyond the obvious example of the title of the fourth book in the Pentateuch. In an e-mail conversation with missionary friend Gregg Evans, he listed the following as examples of Gods interest in numbers as demonstrated by the Bible: the numbering of the days of creation; the numbering of warriors, tribe members, and battle dead; 7,000 who hadnt fallen to Baal; the noting of 14 generations from so-and-so to so-and-so in the genealogy of Jesus; the Twelve and then the Eleven; feeding 5,000; five loaves, two fish, and 12 baskets of leftovers; seven fish and seven baskets of leftovers; a catch of 153 fish; the 120 in the upper room; the two on the road to Emmaus; 3,000 saved in one day.

Still, Gods perspective on numbers seems to be rather different from ours. Beyond the aforementioned and lengthy list, there are two stories from the Bible that stick out most in my mind on the subject of numbers. The first is Ezekiels call, in which God tells Ezekiel in no uncertain terms that hes being called to a low-numbers mission. God calls Ezekiel to tell Israel Thus says the Lord God, and then goes on to tell the prophet its unlikely hell get an audience for his sermons or Torah studies, which doesnt seem to matter to God. The words, whether they hear or refuse to hear are repeated over and over in chapters 2 and 3, saying in effect, with the numbers or without them.

The other passage is Davids numbering of the fighting men at the end of 2 Samuel. While there has been endless discussion about why God punishes David for this action, a walk through the major prophets (where Israel and Judah are denounced for trusting in horses and chariots, or in the superpowers of the day, Egypt or Assyria) makes me think God was concerned about the same thing here. Big numbers can make us feel confident and secure in something other than Gods provision. David counts the fighting men as an assessment of his power—a very different approach to life from what he had on the day he blundered down into the valley of Elah to face Goliath with some rocks and a strip of leather. The census showed a trust in something other than God.

Too often, our bean counting is the same thing. Were trusting in something other than Gods mercy, provision, and Spirit to accomplish the work of the kingdom. Its easier to make a chart for evangelism than it is to wonder how secure others or we are in Gods grace and mercy. Its easier to trust in a balanced budget than it is to wait for God to drop manna and quail from the sky or transform a few loaves and fishes into a feast for thousands. And its easier to count people in pews than it is to enter into true community with each other, struggling through the Christian life. Its easier to define the Christian life by numbers.

We arent called to determine the reality of relationship with God by numbers. When one of our friends or family members makes a significant numerical stumble, my brother-in-law will often say, You must be using that new math. Its this new math of grace that God wants us to use to determine our reality, which as Philip Yancey said, is about not counting. Maybe we need to stop counting beans and attend to planting them, caring for them, and watching them grow.

Mike Perschon lives in Edmonton, Alberta and wors as part-time associate pastor of Holyrood Mennonite Church and part-time freelance writer and speaker at camps, schools, and conventions.