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Second Bananas: Ministering in the Shadow of Your Peers

It's not often that being the number two man gets you any recognition. When I was in high school, a local newspaper wrote an article about several area basketball players called "Second Bananas." The article was spotlighting three of the area's top players playing in the shadow of a star. That's right, all of the players featured in the article were the second-best players on their teams, and I was one of them. And in case anyone out there in the sports world hadn't figured it out yet, this article cleared it up. I was flattered to have been considered a newsworthy player, and yet it was another reminder that I was second best. In spite of my diligent practice and dedication, the real star was my best friend, and I was just the second banana.

Since then I've noticed a pattern in my life. I often find myself operating as the second banana. People have created all sorts of names for not being the number one. Words like "associate," "assistant," "behind the scenes," "intern," "support staff," "helper," and even "gofer" have become popular ways to refer to people working in the shadows of others ("second banana" doesn't really appeal to that many people—no pun intended). Call it what whatever you want, that's me.

It was during my freshman year in college that I first recall feeling the disappointment of ministry inferiority. I was assigned to a ministry team that was heading to NYC for a little street evangelism (not exactly my bag of cookies). I remember our debriefing session that first night. Everyone was asked to raise their hands and indicate how many people they led to Christ during the day. Sheepishly I raised only one finger when others were asking what to do if they had more than ten. I signed up for a different ministry team the next semester.

Later in College I was volunteering for a local Youth for Christ group. Being young in ministry, I was easily able to see how I could do things better than the actual leader (a common problem among second bananas). Differences of opinion repeatedly became the focus of my interactions with the leader. Tired of the conflicts and being the number two man, eventually I gave up my position, sacrificing good relationships with the students in order to go my separate way. I was confident that there was another ship out there that needed a captain.

Three years later I found myself in yet another second banana role as a youth ministry intern leading the junior high portion of a youth ministry program in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I reported directly to the youth pastor (whom I'll call Jeremy) who was only 2 months older than me and had the same youth ministry degree. We also both had a passion for seeing young kids live for God, but that was where our similarities ended. Frequently we disagreed about things like ministry approach, style, and even folding chairs vs. couches (I'm ashamed to admit). We had our share of difficult times as I openly expressed my difference of opinion on several occasions during youth staff meetings. Tension built until finally we had a talk.

As I looked back over all of these scenarios, a competitive spirit drove me in basketball but natural ability held me back. A heart for the lost drove me to the streets of NYC but mismatched giftedness left me floundering. Passion for leadership fueled me as a volunteer for YFC but personal convictions and youthful arrogance hindered my ministry. A love for jr. high kids energized my internship but foolish pride stood in the way of true effectiveness and ministry success.

Face the issue and be honest

I remember sitting in Jeremy's office the day we finally faced the issue openly and honestly. Together we plunged in to discover what was going wrong and how we could fix it. Our common passion for reaching the kids we were working with drove us to be real with each other—knowing that if it wasn't resolved, conflict would only continue and ministry opportunities would be lost. I'd learned from my experience volunteering with YFC that those good relationships with students aren't always easy to come by, and this time around I wasn't going to be so quick to let them go. We were both ready to be honest about the power struggle taking place and search for a solution. I think this was the first time that we worked together at something, and I believe we both finally experienced the results of teamwork.

Recognize more than differences

When we walked away from that meeting we still recognized that we'd do things differently, but we also recognized something far more important…each other's gifts. From that point on we were both aware that in any given situation each of us would have a response based on our God-given gifts. As situations arose we began to develop an ability to recognize the best solution, not based on the originator's rank on the organizational flow chart, but based on who was better gifted to deal with that particular situation. We began seeing ministry successes because we began to trust each other in our giftedness.

Learn to be a team player

Looking back on my past "second banana" roles, one of my regrets is not paying more attention to the strengths of everyone else on the team—especially those who were leading. In his interview with the reporter, my high school basketball coach used these words, "He knows he's along to help…He does a nice job in his role." I'm glad he was so kind. I was often too preoccupied by my own position. I was watching the stat sheet and not the scoreboard. I was focusing on weaknesses of other players instead of ministry successes that were being produced by the team. Learning to be a team player means knowing your role on the team. Clearly not everyone will be a star, but without the "second bananas" there wouldn't be nearly as many wins.

John Maxwell, in his 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork says, "Teams that win have players who continually ask themselves, 'What's best for the rest?' They continually set aside their personal agendas for the good of the team." Unfortunately it's pride that stands in the way of our asking that question; as a result our teams suffer from our ministry inferiority complexes. Jesus consistently lived out an example of servant leadership, yet we still repeatedly seek to be served rather than serve.

Make service your focus

Lest I sound too saintly, my power struggle with Jeremy continued—not outwardly but inwardly. Pride kept me from complete submission and continued to produce resentment. Then it happened; I finally got my chance to go out on my own. A church had contacted me to interview as a youth pastor. During my two-hour drive back home after the interview, I sensed that God had something else in mind. I drove straight to Jeremy's house, sat in his living room and told him that I was sorry. I admitted to approaching ministry full of pride. I told him that night that I had a new assignment from God…to make him the best youth pastor he could possibly be. When the church called back, I declined the invitation.

With my new perspective, Jeremy's failures became my failures and his victories became my victories. I committed to standing behind him publicly and keeping our disagreements to the privacy of his office where we could honestly and openly talk through our differences.

Eventually I did take a full-time position as a youth pastor. Just a few months ago we rolled out our new name and logo. It was a big deal (like most youth events that we pour ourselves into for months in advance), and I saw it as a pivotal point for our ministry. Jeremy and his wife came and helped us all afternoon with setup for the event, doing anything I asked from cooking hotdogs and working the T-shirt table to working the light switch for the dramatic unveiling. It seems that Jeremy had already learned the art of ministering in the shadows. Maybe that's why he was a star.

Joe Neill is a youth pastor in Lake Orion, Michigan and a freelance writer for TeamCE.com. He has been serving in various youth ministry settings for six years.