So you're leading a small group?

Your small group can accomplish big things in the lives of your teenagers. And in Help! I'm a Small-Group Leader! you'll find methods and approaches you can use. Foibles and minefields to avoid. Solutions and tips that will help you nurture your small group into a growing community, whatever your goals. Inside you'll discover?

• How to put small groups together
• How NOT to lead a small group
• How to start a discussion?and KEEP IT GOING
• How to ASK QUESTIONS that get responses
• Three kinds of BIBLE STUDY questions to ask
• How to work with DIFFERENT personalities in a small group
• How to help your kids LEARN TO PRAY
• 10 ideas for BUILDING COMMUNITY in your small group

...and to top it off are 20 pages of questions (100 questions, to be exact) that you can use in your small-group Bible study, on the most common subjects discussed in junior and senior high small groups. All this in a no-frills, straight-to-the-point style?perfect for volunteer small-group leaders, or for youth pastors or youth directors to lead their staffs through.

Ask Questions that Get Responses

Whether they?re personal questions, topical questions, or Bible study questions, how you ask them can make the difference between lively small-group discussions and dead ones.

? Avoid yes or no questions.

Stay away from questions that begin with "Is there??," "Are they??" or "Do you think??" With a yes or no, your discussion could end right there. Instead ask more why questions.

In small-group ministry it is your questions rather than your answers that make your small group a good one. So it?s worth the extra time to find questions to provoke a good group discussion. If you write your own material, look at some different Bible studies or questionnaires to learn how to craft good questions. If you use a curriculum written by someone else, rewrite the questions that seem obvious or boring.

Another suggestion: run your questions by a friend before your small-group meeting to see if they?re dead-end yes-or-no questions, or if they provoke exploration, opinions, and discussion. Sometimes it?s difficult to tell, and it?s better to find out before your discussion rather than during.

? Don?t ask questions that assume an answer.

Asking "How does Jesus show his anger in this passage?" assumes that a) Jesus is angry, and b) there is a right answer you want your kids to discover. The problem with such questions is that they tell students too much without leaving students room to discover answers and insights themselves. Remember your goal is to invite students to explore a passage and share their own thoughts rather than being directed toward yours.

A better question: "What is Jesus feeling in this passage? Why do you think he feels this way?" This encourages kids to share their opinions, not just give the answers they think you want. They?ll be led into a deeper exploration of their faith and a much more interesting discussion.

It?s difficult to know if a question leads to a specific response until you ask it, so again, run the questions by a friend prior to the meeting. Or enlist the help of a student to write your questions and use it as an opportunity for some one-on-one time with them. Depending on their maturity level, invite them to help you lead that week?s small group and give another valuable opportunity for growth.

? Write questions that are relevant to your kids.

Some good questions will spring to your mind during the meeting, but don?t rely on those. Instead spend some thinking time before the meeting?about where your kids are, what their maturity level is, what in the study is particularly relevant to your students?and thoughtfully write out most of your questions.

Doing a Bible study on David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11)? Don?t ask "What effect do you think David?s sin of adultery had on his life?"?it?s not nearly as relevant to kids as "What could David have done to keep from having sex with Bathsheba?" Questions like these will not only draw your kids? interest, they will help students discuss in a vicarious way how they can handle their own sexual temptation. Kids are more apt to talk if questions clearly reflect issues in their own lives?and what they learn from the ensuing discussions will be more valuable to their spiritual journey.

Spend time getting to know your kids so that you can determine what they are interested in, and what they are ready to learn for spiritual growth. This may be your most valuable exercise in crafting your small-group questions.

? Learn how and when to ask direct questions

Direct questions like "Sue, is Jesus the Lord of your life?" may lead to meaningful dialogue, but only with the right people at the right time. If this is Sue?s first meeting, a question like this may make it her last. Students in your group must grow in intimacy and trust before such questions are appropriate.

If this is the small group?s first meeting, or you have some new students in the group, try the less threatening "How does Jesus become the Lord of your life?" and open it up to the group in general instead of directing the question to an individual. In this way your students may share without being put on the spot, and you will be able to determine where your students are spiritually. Their responses will give you something to follow up on when you?re with them one-on-one.

As your small group grows in trust and openness with each other, you can gradually use more direct questions to challenge your kids personally. Some students are never asked where they are in their faith, and it can be a tragic oversight not to give them the personal opportunity to respond to the gospel. Over time your group will learn to trust you, each other, and themselves?and they will feel safe to be more vulnerable as you continue to meet together.

? Ask questions that deal with feelings as well as facts.

Your goal is to engage your students? hearts as well as their minds. It?s usually safer to deal with issues objectively ("What sins in St. Paul?s list are teenagers at your school particularly inclined to?") rather than personally ("What sins in St. Paul?s list should you give up?"). Yet the longer your small group meets, the deeper and more personal your questions can become.

A good litmus test for the intimacy of your group is the kinds of questions you feel free to ask (and students feel free to answer). If your group has been meeting for some time and hasn?t gotten very personal, you may want to evaluate why?and perhaps ask the students as well. Healthy small groups should grow in intimacy and trust, and your continual evaluation will help strengthen the effectiveness of your ministry.

The ability to craft good questions is a vital skill for effective ministry. As you peruse the New Testament, you?ll discover that Jesus ministered to people more with his questions than with his answers?inviting people to find the truth for themselves. Small-group ministry allows us to spend less time telling and more time asking?more closely representing the ministry of Christ.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

What Is a \"Small Group\"?

Why Small Groups?

How to Put Small Groups Together

How Not to Lead a Small Group

Starting a Discussion?and Keeping it Going

The Importance of Confidentiality

Ask Questions That Get Responses

Three Kinds of Bible Study Questions to Ask

Working with Different Personalities in a Small Group

You Can Help Your Kids Learn to Pray

10 Ideas for Building Community in Your Small Group

100 Ready-to-Go Questions for Small-Group Bible Studies